Fiction Alley Park
From Fandom wank wiki
The discussion forums of Fiction Alley, the largest Harry Potter fandom fic archive, Fiction Alley Park is appropriately acronymed as FAP. Since its founding in the summer of 2001, in the midst of Plagiarism And All That, the place has never been without some wank going on. (You might expect that sort of thing with 100,000 registered users, but we all know that's no excuse.)
FAP Wankery
Low-grade FAP wank consists of brainless shipper brawling. High-grade FAP wank involves the site admin. Fiction Alley's owner and one of the forum moderators is Heidi, who has a JournalFen account and occasionally posts on Fandom Wank. On those occasions, she will engage in lengthy and didactic attempts to refute any comments she perceives to be in any way critical of Fiction Alley or Cassandra Claire. This is known as the Heidipatrol and its appearance can upgrade a previously hum-drum wank. Then, as Heidipatrol drags on, it slowly puts readers to sleep. Which, indeed, may be its ultimate purpose.
For some reason, Fandom Wank regulars rarely give any consideration to FictionAlley's frequent smackdowns to those who wish the site to bar slash or, in fact, any romantic pairing not explicitly mentioned in the books, or any stories that merit a rating higher than PG-13. This oddity perhaps hints at a sublimated awareness amongst F_W members that they are not in the business of lauding the insecure. Or maybe FAP has even more regular wank than wankas are made aware of. Weird, isn't it?
100,000 registered users? Really?
So we're told! Although the number of active users is far smaller and wankier, many of them, unable to confine their wankiness to their own forae, strike out in search of new vistas, new opportunities to splooge, proclaiming, at least in spirit, if not in actual literary exhortation, that:
"Let us (since Life can little more supply
Than just to look about us and to die)
Expatiate free o'er all this scene of Man;
A mighty maze! but not without a plan;
A Wild, where weeds and flow'rs promiscuous shoot,
Or Garden, tempting with forbidden fruit.
Together let us beat this ample field,
Try what the open, what the covert yield"
~Alexander Pope
Thus they plant their creepers and kudzu amidst the herbiage and verbiage of HP fen, lo even unto the F_W-wiki itself.[1] And, in the midst of the mighty maze, the Minotaur Heidi seeks out the virginal fangirl sacrifices until that day when her goddess CC grows satiated.
