Admin - New rules for Fandom Wank

Many of you have been complaining about the declining standards of wank posted to this community.

As a result of this, We have decided that in the future, all posts must be submitted through a hand picked wank approval panel, who will decide whether the kerfluffle in question is wanky enough to be allowed on the board and edit it if necessary.

After objections were raised to the idea of a super-sekrit cabal of mods, the guidelines used to define wank and the list of proposed edits will be made public below.

Wank will be said to fall into three categories:

Hypocrisy: If somebody says non-canon fic is a perversion of the fandom, then writes a steamy Giles/Doyle and loudly denies ever speaking out against UC ships? That is officially wanky.

Self Importance: If somebody says they are the ultimate authority on Harry/Draco slash because they have a better grasp of the characters than Rowling? That is also officially wanky.

OMGWTFBBQ!!1: If somebody claims that Ewan has no penis, in spite of being repeatedly shown screencaps which prove otherwise? That too is officially wanky.

All previously posted material, which is not actually wank, will be classified as either cum stains or hand lotion.

Cum Stains: Wankery unrelated to fandom, mockery of individuals and of specific fanfics and websites are designated cum stains and are henceforth banned from this community.

Hand Lotion: Icons, injokes, Squidwarts fanfic, Dolemite quotes, the word 'okay' and anything else which facilitates wanking is designated hand lotion and henceforth banned from this community.

As for the editorial section, this is currently composed of only three guidelines. You will be informed once We have decided upon the rest.

1. All references to Stormfreak The Troll Who Must Not Be Named will be replaced by the phrase 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv'.

2. Any post including the words plagerism, playjerism or plaigiarism, will have a postscript added accusing the poster of indulging in depraved and incestuous acts with mountain goats.

3. All instances of the name 'Essy' must now be followed by the phrase 'May she live forever'.

That is all, lowly peons. You may go about your business now.

Love and kisses,
Orwellian Mod of the Sekrit and Eval Ruling Cabal #48