Chancery Stone

From Fandom wank wiki

1 The Basics
2 Wank History
3 Quotes
4 Icons!

The Basics

Chancery Stone is the author of the vanity-press-published "cult" novel DANNY, which is about straight men having gay sex, among other things. No one is quite sure why DANNY is entirely capitalized. DANNY is apparently over 1000 pages in length, and the author displays a dubious grasp of English punctuation.[1] Despite this, at least five people have read it.

Horrifyingly, there appears to be a sequel, creatively titled DANNY 2.

Wank History

DANNY fandom was first featured on Fandom Wank in March 2006, when Chancery Stone spammed a Wuthering Heights community with an advertisement for her book.[2] Further investigation revealed that there was a community dedicated to DANNY itself, but the five members had banned the author from posting because she flamed them.[3] Her appearance on FW did not go unnoticed.[4]

Within several weeks, Chancery Stone again lashed out against the "she-wolves of Fandom_wank," accusing FW of failing to understand female anatomy and menstruation.[5][6][7][8]

Several weeks after that, she gave us her thoughts on ~~yaoi~~slash and challenged readers to find the sort of porn she likes. Issendai summarized Chancery's hilarious teal deer in Chancery Stone: Iconoclast.

In January 2007, Chancery ran afoul of LOL Meme (or vice versa), when she discovered the anonymous members had been reviewing and excerpting her book. (Because of the meme's predilection for CAPSLOCK, that book's title could only be typed there as danny.) Claiming copyright violation, she contacted the JFA, who contacted the lol_meme mods, and it was all resolved fairly amicably, considering.

Nevertheless, in March 2008, she threatened to sue JF for "personal damages, damages to income, book sales, reputation, psychological damage, loss of revenue" and damage to her pets. We're not exactly sure what she's on about, but it may be related to the placement of a certain wiki article in the results of googling "Chancery Stone".

In August 2008, Chancery appeared on Amazon's romance forum to inform romance readers of the wonders of DANNY. For some reason, the forum readers felt that the incest and lack of happy ending disqualified it as a member of the romance genre. They were, of course, absolutely wrong. Amazon itself demonstrated similar confusion, ultimately removing all of Chancery Stone's posts and banning her from its forums. Oopsy![9][10]

Nora Roberts made some comments about Chancery's adventures on Amazon[11][12], apparently alerting Chancery (famous and expert romance writer, of course) to her existence. Thus began Chancery's (one-sided) feud with Nora Roberts, complete with psychoanalysis (emphasis on the "psycho") of the plots and characters in Nora Roberts' novels.[13]

Due to the tendency of Chancery's old posts, biographies, and comments to mysteriously disappear (surely in no way related to her past threats to sue the wiki and JF for libel), screencaps are highly recommended.

Quotes

DANNY excerpts

"His cock came up like there was no tomorrow." - DANNY Volume 1, page 354, UK edition
"He reached forward and felt her breasts, lying on her back, spent." - DANNY Volume 1, page 356, UK edition

Chancery Stone

"Chancery Stone is exceptionally good-looking, gifted and talented and just wishes the rest of the world would catch up with her." - CULT Fiction: An Introduction to Chancery Stone's DANNY Quadrilogy with a FREE Extract from DANNY 1, About the Author [14]
"I'm like one of those demons that when you summon them you can't send them back until they've fulfilled their mission. I'm the relentless serial killer hacking through your night. The only difference is I'm real. . . . And I just can't stop myself. Once I scent blood I'm in there like a heat-seeking missile." - from her blog [15]
"Lastly, I hate to break this to you, but the old "I would have bought your book, but now I never will..." punishment pitch is exactly that - very, very old. Believe it or not, I have heard it many times." - from her argument on the Amazon forums [16]
"Yet, what does Nora see in me?
Someone trying to muscle in on her territory. Nora feels threatened. Yes, Nora with all her awards and sales is threatened by a nobody from nowhere, about whom she knows nothing." - Chancery's psychoanalysis of Nora Roberts[17]

SockpuppetsFans

"DANNY is daring, sexy, emotional, taboo bursting, addictive, irreplaceable, genuinely original, obsessively readable, passionate, it has no equal and I cannot recommend it enough." - J. Rhodes, who is totally not a sockpuppet [18]
"The second installment to the greatest story ever told, DANNY 2, The Revenant, has arrived. The finest written characters in literature are back, and they're as good as they ever have been." - ibid [19]
"Chancery Stone's DANNY is the New Romance. It out-tips Tipping the Velvet, it out-psychos American Psycho, it soars to heights well beyond the Wuthering." - jordanmiller3 [20]

Wankas

"Doesn't cult status require...well, a cult?" - arien [21]
"Didn't this woman write a whole novel about kinky gay sex?" - iczer6 [22]

"No, no, it was kinky straight sex. With straight guys. Who just happened not to have a woman around when they had sex. With other men." -issendai [23]

"Among the many, many parts where I wtfed (OH NOES GAY MEN ARE HE-MAN WOMAN-HATERS and once again lesbians and bisexuals do not exist), I think I liked best the bit that lambasts women for not celebrating the glory that is menstruating.
'Cause, yeah, that's what I think every month when I'm mad as hell. 'OH HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE SHEDDING THE LINING OF AN INTERNAL ORGAN OH LUCKY DAY.'" - waterfront [24]

"It's probably less painful than reading DANNY." - Serein [25]

"...Maybe I'm just slow, but if the straight guys are having sex with each other, aren't they kind of, you know, not straight?" - lush_rimbaud [26]
We're not interested in heterosexual porn
"Guess I imagined all that masturbating I did." - felinephoenix [27]
4. It must feature leading characters, who are (demonstrably) straight, having homosexual 'relations' with other men. In other words, no coming out stories, or 'I was straight till I found Roger at the age of forty and realised cock was all I lived for'. That's gay. Our heroes have to be straight, and stay straight - are we clear on that?
"Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
So they have to be straight, yet always go for cock.
That's kind of like eating your neighbor and trying to say you're not a cannibal, innit?" - sennet [28]
Once I scent blood I'm in there like a heat-seeking missile
"The slowest heat-seeking missle in the universe!" - imp [29]
"Did I miss a recent wank? WTF is the statute of limitations on butthurt, anyway?" - gunshou [30]
"If you dig up her backyard you'll find the corpses of a dozen innocent metaphors, tortured and then bludgeoned to death." - ladybirdsleeps [31]
"[Stephenie Meyer]'s like a young Mormom mom having a heck of a time on a crazy roller coaster she jumped on by accident, and if she gets a little sick along the way, well, whoopsy, it's okay! She's still new to the amusement park.
Chancery Stone, however, is the nutter climbing the roller coaster supports with a viking hat, studded elf-shoes, and a blow-up male sex-doll with DANNY painted on the chest, trying to jump into the car mid-ride because they wouldn't let her and her 'friend' onto the train at the station." - blankverses [32]
ru_debaga:"Also, she thought audiences these days were "too sophisticated" for cheesy romance novels? Does she pay ANY attention to the best seller lists?"