Won't somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!?

From Fandom wank wiki

Phrase almost guaranteed to sarcastically describe any wank about someone bemoaning immorality. For example: "It all starts when this guy complains about all the underage incest mpreg in Pokemon bestiality slash fanfic because kids might read it! Won't somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!?"

The general idea of worrying about society's children is timeless. However, this overly melodramatic variation on the plea seems to have originated with The Simpsons character Helen Lovejoy, beginning with the 1996 episode "Much Apu About Nothing":

“	Homer Simpson: Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you, but this town is infested by bears. Moe Szyslak: Yeah, and these ones are smarter than the average bear. They swiped my pic-a-nic basket. Helen Lovejoy: [frantic] Think of the children! Mayor Quimby: All right, I promise to take swift and decisive action against these hibernating hucksters.	”
	— {{{source}}}

Helen's signature comment in any political debate/angry mob evolved in 1997's "Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment":

“	Mayor Quimby: You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism. Helen Lovejoy: Ohh!! [sobs] Won't somebody please think of the children!?	”
	— {{{source}}}

On Fandom_Wank any number of things can be substituted for "children," and wankas can often be seen imploring the public to think of all sorts of groups, usually with an addendum inspired by "Think of the bisexuals".

The proper response to this phase in other parts of the internet is, "Well, what about the children?". On F_W, however, the proper response is to point out that the children are, after all, thinking of you. Naked. And possibly covered in pixie stix powder.