Christianity
From Fandom wank wiki
Exceptionally old, large, and wanky fandom of Jesus Christ. Basically like Star Trek, only not as big on slash.
Occasionally truncated to "Xianity" by those using "X" as a symbol for "Christ," or "Xtianity" by exceptionally stupid people.
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Background
October 23, 4004 BC: It all starts when God creates the heavens and the earth. When s/h/it gets around to making people, he only does one, Adam. Adam gets lonely. And so God created wank, and lo, it was good.
2349 BC: God baleets mankind, except for his BFF Noah. Noah's kids see him naked.
1900 BC: God tells Abraham he has to kill his son to stay in the community. Later he reveals it was part of a social experiment.
Pre-Fandom_Wank
December 25, 0000: The Baby Jesus is born in a manger surrounded by farm animals and wank. Joseph figures out he's not the real father. Herod tries to kill Jesus because he thinks a baby might depose him. Wise men raise money to get Jesus a laptop.
30-33 AD: Jesus goes around the Judea forums performing miracles and writing God fanfic. The Judean mods start looking for ways to ban him, and finally report him to the Roman admins. Using special hax, Jesus comes back to get the last word in, then leaves the fandom. Peter takes over until he gets back.
1054: Rome and Constantinople get in a kerfuffle over who's in charge and ban each other, creating Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy.
1517: Martin Luther gets banned for spamming RC and starts his own community.
1827: Joseph Smith says that God is releasing a new book of the Bible and he's got a preview copy; others claim that all he's done is write OOC Bible fanfic using a sockpuppet named Moroni, and that the part about women is really obvious wish-fulfillment. He gets banned multiple times and starts his own community before getting TOSed himself. Debate rages to this day about whether this community is still part of the fandom, because most people can't conceive of a fandom where no one swears, there's no potential for slash, and no one writes fanfic on a caffeine high. Smith is today considered the father of the OT3.
Modern Wanks
Although the fandom remains wanky as ever, Christianity's effect on Fandom_wank is most strongly felt when other fandoms wank about how wanky Christians are. This sort of wank takes three forms:
- Bitching about
Pat Robertsonall Christians everywhere for being against something - Creating a straw man argument by suggesting the
NazisChristians would endorse the opposing viewpoint (e.g., Msscribe) - Making light of ordinarily reverent topics in Christianity in order to sound
exactly like everyone else that does itsubversively cool. (e.g., Bible slash)
