Chronicle Of A Wank Foretold
From Fandom wank wiki
The Wank - Remus "Jupiter" Lupin plzkthx
March 7, 2004: Before THE INTERVIEW which struck despair into the hearts of Harmonians everywhere, J.K. Rowling did another interview
...which struck despair into the hearts of Draco Malfoy fangirls everywhere.
But few were more outraged than Gwendolyn Grace, a Fiction Alley Park mod. She took particular offence at Rowling revealing "John" to be Remus J. Lupin's middle name, rather than Gwendolyn Grace's favourite "Jupiter." Gwendolyn Grace went on to add her commentary to the interview transcript so everyone would know what else Rowling was wrong about.
Fandom_Wank's Reaction - A Sign of Things to Come
This wank is kind of creepy to read, if you've downed a bottle of vodka and are in a particularly sentimental mood. It's like reading historical diaries and coming on a passage where the person writes that they're looking forward to going back to Boston next year and you know they're going to die of childbirth/go nuts and chop up their family/be scalped by Indians next year. They're never going home to Boston. Never.
Because, instead of pointing and mocking, the F_W comments turned into a big meta-wanky war about Harry Potter and JK Rowling. (Including Ataniell once again taking offense at Rowling slighting Slytherin fans.[1])
In short, it's a preview of the Harry Potter fandom's reaction to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and none of the participants know that.
And some people who are going to be accused in 2005 of persecuting fans who don't like JKR and the new canon were there in 2004 expressing critical opinions of JKR and her rabid fans.
We're never going back to pre-HBP.
Quotes
- What does the "J" in Remus J Lupin stand for? 'John'. Boring but true!
"No, dear. Sorry. It's Jupiter. Try it out like you're angry. Remus Jupiter Lupin! Much better. John is a fine name, but you pegged it with that "boring" comment." - Gwendolyn Grace to J.K. Rowling [2] - "I'll join the rest of the ENTIRE FANDOM now in a giant WHAT!?!?! Oh, woman, please, we've just got to get you to stop answering any question that involves numbers of any kind. Better yet, don't take any interviews anymore - you get it all wrong. Better yet - stop now, you're ruining the series. Let us take over for you." - ibid
- "Wait, I get it now! I get it! She reads our fansites...and she knows that if she does anything really off beat that any one of us actually got right, we'll be able to prove it. So...maybe she's making the books banal and pedestrian *because* we're so much more creative than she is?" - ibid
- "You see, Mincot, I mistakenly thought I was reading subtle, magnificent literature...until she suddenly wasn't writing it anymore. If I'm judging these books for what they're not, then I'm far from alone. Real Academics, alongside the "overly righteous, pseudo-intellectual, hypercritical fans" also saw overwhelming potential in the books for being more than a "children's story."- Gwendolyn Grace [3]
- "...In her interviews, she's a complete bitch to her fans, which irritates me because we are the people who made her rich collectively." - Ataniell [4]
- "I expect it's that whole thing about how everyone who likes Draco must want to do Tom Felton that's got under my skin this time, because of course, at my age I'm just dying to get my hands on a not even terribly pretty piece of jailbait?
Last time it was a comment about people who like Snape. One really gets the opinion that she thinks those who do not share her perspective about this or that are hormonal maniacs." - Ataniell [5] - "Wow. I don't even have to click on the links in the main posts anymore. I just open up the comments section and the wank comes straight to me. Are we saving costs by cutting out the middleman?" - mirabellawotr [6]
- "I worry that one day I'll open my flist to see f_w gone and a massive HP induced black hole in its place with the off shoot groups (i_wank, dl_a, otf_wank, etc.) being dragged slowly toward the event horizon." - telesilla [7]
- And narcissam wrote a poem mocking JKR sycophants.
