Good King Nerdnor Meets Hogwarts Elite

From Fandom wank wiki

December 13, 2005: Good King Nerdnor applies to Hogwarts Elite. Alas, his application is too short. Several early votes are squib, and he starts trolling the community by responding to the voters.

But rather than being an "OMG U SUXORS!!" type troll, he trolls by being silly, leaving taking things too seriously to the Hogwarts Elite members themselves. They oblige.

Some on Fandom Wank are enchanted.[1] Some aren't.[2] Some call grudge on the wank report.[3]

Despite a late rally by the Hogwarts Elite Slytherins, Good King Nerdnor is squibbed.

• The Wank Report

Contents 1 Hogwarts Hocus 2 If At First You Don't Succeed 3 Quotes 4 Icons

Hogwarts Hocus

Khym_Chanur comments that a sorting community dedicated to sorting RP characters might be interesting,[4] mlleelizabeth decides to run with it,[5] and Hogwarts Hocus is born.

If At First You Don't Succeed

March 9, 2006: Good King Nerdnor makes a second attempt to storm the bastion of Hogwarts Elite. The result? Squib.[6]

Quotes

• bethyj: "Squib"

  goodkingnerdnor: "This is too short, far too short.
  I'm going to have to reject your vote.
  God, read the fucking rules before you apply, seriously."

  bethyj: "Pardon me, however there is no longer a need for explanation. You have commented on your own application (and in most cases were very crude to the memebers of this community) and that is reason enough to Squib."

  goodkingnerdnor: "Iiiii wish I wish I wish I were a fish
  instead of a squid, squib? No, squid, I'm sure.
  
  A squid you see, is a marvelous thing
  It sprays dirty ink
  it will fill up your sink
  and if you pull back its head and stretch you can fling
  a squid to the wildest of lengths!"[7]

• koffee_float: "Squib."

  goodkingnerdnor: "No, Moony did not say manslaves. In fact, Moony has never used that term in canon. Where the fuck are your sources coming from?
  In other news, your icon design is cute."[8]

• cherrydanish: "When in doubt between a house and a squib, I'm afraid I find it only fair to squib. Sorry."

  goodkingnerdnor: "A long long time ago, there once was a wise old man.
  A boy of 16 walked up to the wise old man and asked him if there was any one bit of advice the man could give for getting along in the world.
  The man said, "My son, in a race between a rock and a tortoise, never varnish your clams."
  Well Cherry, I'm like a rock, you see, and you're the tortoise."[9]

• "That was actually very enlightening! I have now, based upon the responses to that post, figured out what Hogwarts Elite's random definitions for the houses is:
  Hufflepuffs: Have absolutely no sense of humor, get offended by everything, and spew insults left and right.
  Gryffindors: Are timid and afraid to do anything that's even remotely against the rules.
  Ravenclaws: Are the slowest to catch on to any joke, but then do a half-assed job of trying to cover for it on page 7 of the comments.
  Slytherins: Seem to be the only ones sane enough to point and the whole comm and laugh at the pretentiousness.
  Wow. JKR had it so very wrong in her books!" - Kantayra [10]

Icons

• "Moony did NOT say manslaves in canon!" - by a friendly anonymouse[11]