HBP Wank: The Collector's Edition

From Fandom wank wiki

Contents 1 The Basics 2 Highlights 3 The Something Positive Cartoon 4 The Controversy 5 Epilogue

The Basics

July 18, 2005: Realizing that Fandom Wank was about to be drowned in wanky fall-out from the publication of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Pyratejenni made this post:

“	Friends, are you tired of digging through comment threads to find links to the gnashing and wailing of despairing shippers? Dig no more!	”
	— {{{source}}}

Posters supplied links to HBP wank in the comments, and Pyratejenni added them. By the end of the week, there were 59 links, most to wanks, but a few to cries for sanity, or parodies of the wank.

• The Wank Report

Highlights

Too many to detail them all, but here's some good bits:

• A fangirl insisting JK Rowling plagiarized Cassandra Claire [1][2]

• "I still can't fucking believe that JKR took an absolutely perfect gay character and gave him a filthy, stupid cunt of a beard." [3]

• Phoenixwriter insists that HBP was the funeral of OBHWF [4]

• Waaaah! Blaise is black! My life is shattered! [5]

• "If only I had listened when my children’s literature lecturer at university told me in no uncertain terms that it was a conservative, traditional and patriarchal story that lacked originality and depth."

These are just a preview of the batshit insanity that lies within.

The Something Positive Cartoon

One of the entries gained fame beyond Fandom Wank. A member of cf_hardcore in a now-deleted post wangsted about how her life had been ruined by a child getting the store's first copy of HBP for having the best costume, even though her costume was clearly better than the little crotchdropping's. The web-comic 'Something Positive' got hold of the story and illustrated it, quoting almost word for word from her complaint.

• The Wank Report
• The Comic
• The Wank Report on the Comic

The Controversy

And then there was controversy over some of the entries. Were they really wanky? Or were the wankas being wanky about other people's perfectly legitimate opinions?

• Ataniell takes on her critics [6]

• Narcissam complains about wanking AJ Hall's essay on the Weasley twins [7]

Epilogue

We thought it would never end. And it didn't. More than half a year later, Fandom Wank was still getting HBP wank. But that's another story for another time. Or, you could just check out the Harmony article.