HP Fandom: All Your Sock Is Belong To Us
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Contents |
Introduction
February 17, 2006: A sockpuppet tale of epic proportions (or so we thought until we found out about Msscribe), courtesy of the batshit insane HP shippers. By the end of this wank, there were only about ten wankas who could tell you what and who everyone was in this story. These are the much-demanded Cliff Notes.
Pre Fandom-Wank
In an era of trolls, sockpuppets, and authentic honest-to-God Harmonians, obhwfiscanon was born. Obhwfiscanon purported to be a Harry/Ginny shipper and went about trolling Harry/Hermione and Harry/Luna shippers. Oddly enough, people were skeptical of the sincerity of sentiments such as this:
- If you post on the CSTAR thread and say Ginny is a bitch, Ginny will put the bat-bogey hex on you, and you'll scream while the snot tunnels out of your nostrils. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny will form a circle around you, point and laugh while calling you a stupid delusional loser.[1]
However, a few people took her trolling seriously, including a teenage Harry/Hermione shipper who was very upset by an unprovoked attack on her LJ. Some mysterious member of the fandom decided it was time to out obhwfiscanon.
Enter Obhwfisnotcanon
Another sockpuppet appeared on LJ. obhwfisnotcanon Its opening post:
- obhwfiscanon is the latest 'satirist' to play with the HP fen. Despite delusions of grandeur aspirations of achieving infamy at Fandom Wank, her greatest achievement seems to be to have sparked some interest in just who she is. Well, I know. Go me! And you can too...
- For just the price of a little time and exertion of brain power, you can follow the crumbs to the gingerbread house. If the troll gets hungry and licks up the morsels before we're done, I have lovely copies of pertinent journals and FAP pages in the pantry.
At the bottom of the post was a link to a clue. Over the next few days, Obhwfisnotcanon released clues and HP fans scrambled to follow them through. At the end of the road, the detective sockpuppet promised, there would be a demasking.
Obhwfiscanon Confesses (Sort Of)
Seeing that Obhwfisnotcanon was on her tail, Obhwfiscanon decided to confess to being a troll. [2] A troll who'd been trying to get on Fandom Wank for two months as an example of a crazy Harry/Ginny shipper.
- OK, I'm officially sick of this already. It's been fun. Trolling the OC was the best, because there was absolutely sweet bugger all the mods could do about it. Those crazy H/G shippers. Do you know there hasn't been one wacky thing I've said that hasn't been based on something a real H/G shipper has said? Moving H/G and R/Hr to the canon forums? Yep. Banning non-canon ships in fanfic? There's even sites that do that? Whining about gross violations of canon? Oh yeah. And some other stuff that escapes my mind.
- I was going to wait until I scaled the dizzy heights and made it all the way to Fandom Wank until this moment, but I'll just tell the foo's who still doubt it:
- I was just taking the piss, guys.
- Fo' sheezy!
In a moment of grand dramatic irony, Narcissam told her "you ain't ending up on Fandom Wank, sistah" [3].
The Unmasking
After making several entries, Obhwfisnotcanon made the demasking post as promised [4]. The Harry/Ginny loving Obhwfiscanon was also:
- Azathotha, a Harry/Ginny hater who belonged to a locked Harry/Ginny-hating community.
- Eleanor Rosier aka therosiergirl, a Harry/Luna shipper who'd supposedly left fandom but before that had been a peacemaker among the different ships.
The evidence seemed pretty substantial and Obhwfisnotcanon was congratulated for a unmasking well done. As for Eleanor Rosier's motives? Who knows? It's probably safe to say she likes attention.
The Sockpuppets Wank
In a last-minute attempt to save her fandom reputation, Eleanor Rosier's sockpuppets started to wank. Azathotha (whose LJ is now deleted) threw a grand hissy fit over being called a troll and kicked out of a locked Harry/Ginny-hating community. Quoted from the wank report:
- Fuck you, anti-hg
- You know what? You don't have to kick me out of the community. I'm leaving. I can't believe you believed every word they said about me, and didn't even try to defend me on obwhfisnotcanon's journal. Some of you even declared support for me in anti-h/g and then went and bitched about me there. I don't want to be part of your so-called 'community' any more, and if you guys bug me, I'll tell Prongssr about the terrible thing Heron_advocate and Guza did.
- I'm disgusted that you would believe such ridiculous lies- just because I have an icon made by hippiegirl8 and I live in the same country as Obhwfiscanon doesn't mean we're the same person! I'm off to hate H/G on my own without a bunch of whiny losers who can't find anything better to do than make fun of the questions at the Orange Crush thread.
- I can do a better job of hating H/G on my own. And I DON'T need to friends-only my journal like a coward.
The reference to 'the terrible thing' added to the confusion among readers. Was Azathotha trying to blackmail those named into something? What exactly had they done? In the end, it came out that those mentioned had shared Prongssr's friends-locked post with the Ginny-hating community. They apologized to Prongssr and that was the end of that particular subplot. [5] [6]
Meanwhile, obhwfiscanon pretended to be very amused by the unmasking. [7]
- I'm unsurprised to see that so far everyone is cold- I covered my tracks better than that, guys :P If you want to know the truth, you might want to try... well, I wouldn't tell you that now, would I? But signatures are a clue.
And so the story stood when Narcissam broke her vow and posted the Wank Report.
Endgame
The original report was joined by seven edits, as the various sockpuppets continued in a desperate attempt to refute Obhwfisnotcanon's detective work. Azathotha spammed Obhwfiscanon's LJ to prove that they were completely different people. Azathotha joined Fiction Alley and posted on her LJ about how much she loved it, again to prove that she was different from Eleanor Rosier and obhwfiscanon who had separate Fiction Alley accounts. The quality of the proof was lacking, to say the least. Obhwfiscanon continued to insinuate that the wrong person was being accused and she was very amused.
Finally, Eleanor Rosier/therosiergirl broke her silence on the issue, and posted on Obhwfisnotcanon's LJ: [8]
- Whoa, whoa, slow down! Just WHAT the shit is it I'm supposed to have done here?
- Turn your back on the HP fandom for five minutes and it burns itself to the ground...
Obhwfisnotcanon replied:
- Well, right here it looks like you have commented using an IP anonymizing service that points to a location in Germany.
- How unfortunate that they gave you a mask that has a rather busy history, including being banned from editing at wikipedia.
At that point, Eleanor Rosier gave up. She confessed there and then to Obhwfisnotcanon. [9] And on Obhwfiscanon. [10] And on her (real?) LJ therosiergirl. [11] The best line from her confessions?
- Also, the hissy fit 'Azathotha' through was not genuine, it was simply a backup plan that would have worked if obhwfisnotcanon had not been so computer literate.
Curses! If it hadn't been for that meddling sockpuppet!
Who was Obhwfisnotcanon? There was much speculation on Fandom Wank and his/her farewell post addressed some of it,[12] but the sockpuppet faded back into the internets from whence s/he had come and was never heard from again.
Quotes
- "Okay okay okay. So, O'canon trolls the LJs of those who don't ship H/G for the sole purpose of ending up on f_w (lame motive, btw). O'isn'tcanon is a troll who's trying to reveal her sectret identity, but instead of outright saying it, they're just screwing people around with clues and so forth. Meanwhile, Azsomething may or may not be a troll and may or may not be the "master mind" behind o'canon, but she is heatedly denying so on the anti_hg community. Those in anti_hg tell her to get a grip, and she threatens the mod and the mod's friend, something about revealing something bad to prongssomething.
Meanwhile, Professor Plum claims Mrs. White was with him the whole night in question. Mr. Green has an affair with Miss Scarlet, who later blackmails him into killing Mr. Body with the revolver and frame it on Col. Mustard.
This wank is breaking me. I have no idea what's going on or who these people are and yet I can't turn away." - theamazingrando [13]
- "I'd like to point out that Obhwfisnotcanon still hasn't proved that she's not the same person as these other trolls. Unless, of course, I've missed something, because this moves like whoa." - chief [14]
- "You just made a big deal out of this, you know that? Attention-whores." - anonymouse [15]
- "It's no good, you'll have to draw me a diagram. Troll A is Sockpuppet B and Sockpuppet C and was attacked by Troll D pretending to be Sockpuppets E, F and G, and then everybody leaped out of the closet and said "haha, it's me?"
Sounds like everybody has a secret agent fixation. They probably have a wardrobe full of wigs and a stash of false passports under the bed.
But just a tip to all those involved; "haha, it's me" only works if we've actually heard of you in the first place. Otherwise, you're just like any other old sock, and frankly nobody much cares." - lifeonmars [16]
- "Next week on "All My Sock Puppets" it will be confessed that the entirety of LJ is actually one guy named Fred who lives in Idaho." - anonymouse [17]
