His "wife"? A horse.

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Behold the saga of darkhorseman, one of the classic WTFs on OTF Wank.

1 His "wife"? A horse. - Original Edition
2 I Gave Her My Ring (and then she asked for another carrot)
3 No Appreciation for the Stallion Cock
4 Quotes
5 Icons!

His "wife"? A horse. - Original Edition

January 6, 2007: Once upon a time there was a man named darkhorseman, who called himself polyamorous and had both a wife and a girlfriend. All was well in darkhorseman-land, until one day he decided to post to the polyamory community on LiveJournal about a small conundrum he was having: although he himself was polyamorous, he wanted his wife and girlfriend to be monogamous (he referred to this as "the stallion mentality," which is both ironic and ominous), and though his wife, he assured the comm, had made it clear that she was fine with that, his girlfriend wanted more.

Now, despite the fact that darkhorseman was clearly an asshat, the polyamory comm reacted surprisingly well and in an unwanky fashion to his request for advice, and all continued to be well in darkhorseman-land for a time. That is, until someone brought up that itsy-bitsy teeny-tiny little itty-bitty important detail that he'd perhaps forgotten to mention, maybe.

His "wife"? A horse.

His human girlfriend followed up with a post to the community decrying their persecution of her domestic arrangements. Once she was consequently banned from the comm, she found couldn't delete the post. So she called in LJ Abuse to force its bahleetion.[1] Too bad there are copies.

[edit]

I Gave Her My Ring (and then she asked for another carrot)

March 13, 2007: Darkhorseman posts photos of the "wedding" to a furry community.

Things that OTF Wank discovers very much against its collective will in this wank:

His horse? Is a pony.
His pony? Is pregnant.
He thinks? He's the babydaddy.

“	Some people think I am weird but I pick up on things and try to talk with my horses. Naturally this is strongest with my mare. The other day I felt a kick while I was giving belly rubs and heard a new voice :hello? "hi" :who are you "Im... your daddy :hi daddy. And then I guess the foal went back to sleep. I wish I could tell male or female at this point. Even my mare since its not a spoken voice you wouldnt be able to tell without seeing her.	”
	— {{{source}}}

The Wank Report

[edit]

No Appreciation for the Stallion Cock

March 17, 2007: Darkhorseman posts to his journal at the furry community, incensed that his (poly) girlfriend is thinking about going on a date with another guy. [2] Shortly thereafter? She leaves him. Guess she just couldn't stand sharing his stallion-self anymore.

This time OTF Wank learns that the girlfriend has a child from a prior relationship, and that Darkhorseman enjoys the 2005 zebra movie Racing Stripes. That is to say, he really enjoys it:

“	ok the filly in racing stripes. my mare would kill me for saying this but I want her to have my foals.. damn she is hot.	”
	— {{{source}}}

Breakupplz? report by Onaga

[edit]

Quotes

There is a chance right now that she may be pregnant. We arnt sure yet so I know this is going to change alot of things if she is but I am certianly happy.

What? Eh? What?

Change some things? Change some things? You mean, like, "Honey, it's Nature on the line, they'd like to have a word with you?" --t_boy[3]

smo: "A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
Unless you should force it to intercourse..."
zorro: "And then of course, the horse, of course,
Is my very special wife!"
arielchan: "I went to the source and asked the horse
And she didn't hurt me, which I endorse"
singe: "Unless, of course, I hurt my horse
for taking another to her Bed!" -- from this thread