How Do You Solve A Problem Like SVMaria?
From Fandom wank wiki
Once upon a time, SVMaria was a Chilean fangirl in the Smallville fandom. She was friends with a few BNFs, she was getting all the Clex fic she wanted, and she was pregnant. And then...
Contents |
Oh God, My Baby! (PS Send Lip Gloss!!)
November 29, 2006: Herohunter passes along news from SVMaria's boyfriend that she was in a car accident with a drunk driver last night.
| “ | She has suffered a contusion, several bruises, a couple of broken fingers and, for our deepest sadness, she has lost the baby.
Now, about 14 hours later, her boyfriend (who has contacted me) has been assured that she will be fine. | ” |
Yeah, only a little miscarriage. She'll be just dandy.
The boyfriend (who won't be named for weeks) requests support from Maria's internet friends. Herohunter is uncomfortable posting Maria's address without her permission, so instead she has cards and letters sent to herself in Texas, which she will then forward to Maria in her native Chile.
Herohunter goes on to set up formaria, an LJ community for her friends and well-wishers to post fanfics and photomanipulations for Maria to enjoy once she's back online. She also reposts Maria's Christmas wish list from an earlier discussion in case anyone wants to get her anything (hint, hint). The list is not edited to reflect Maria's current situation and it shows. Among other things she wants in her stocking, Maria would like world peace, reconciliation with her mother, a successful pregnancy (oops), and lots and lots of Clex fic. In particular, she requests "Clex Mpregs with happy endings!!" which is even more appropriate now because after a failed pregnancy there's no better therapy than to read about Superman passing a baby through his dickhole. (They tried Clex mpregs with unhappy endings, but it didn't work as well.)
That night, Maria's internal bleeding gets bad enough to require surgery. Even after the surgery is completed, she is put in an ICU and there is a 90% chance that she will die. (But she will be fine--send more Clex mpreg!!) For some reason it is imperative that she regain consciousness within 24 hours of the surgery.
November 30, 2006: In the morning, Maria wakes up. It is truly a miracle, but not so miraculous that Maria's boyfriend can't find time to tell Herohunter to hit her friendslist up for more swag.
| “ | Her boyfriend has asked me to let you know that if you feel inclined to send her any gifts besides what's on her Christmas Wish list, she likes especially the following:
Lip balm, lip gloss, butterflies, dragonflies, kittens, angels, bunnies, snowmen, x-mas trees, lieetl presents like earrings, make up, stuff like that. | ” |
Amid the comments about Maria's recovery, a user named msjulialurker creates an LJ account to offer her support. SVMadelyn investigates the possibility that this user is in fact a sockpuppet of Maria. and confronts Herohunter demanding the name of Maria's hospital. Herohunter is, of course, too shocked at this effrontery to disarm it with any independently verifiable information. When that doesn't gain traction, Herohunter reports that Maria's boyfriend has read the kerfuffle and is none too pleased. He declares that he will not allow Maria to return to those who don't trust her, and deletes her LiveJournal. (Coincidentally, msjulialurker feels responsible and immediately deletes her own journal.) He also mentions that, as if on cue, Maria is getting worse again. So apparently she's Tinkerbell.
Likefairydust discovers Maria's IP address is accessing Herohunter's LiveJournal while she is supposed to be fighting for her life, which damages Herohunter's story and prompts the usual "What's an IP address?" discussion that comes up in every sockpuppet wank. Herohunter protests that Maria's still-unnamed boyfriend has Maria's LJ password, which he uses to read her friendslist from his laptop via the hospital's wireless network. This begs two questions:
- Why is the hospital on the same network as Maria's house?
- Don't hospitals generally forbid wireless signals?
This is apparently the last straw, as Herohunter deletes her LiveJournal shortly thereafter. (It is later reinstated and locked down.)
In a followup, Madelyn compiles her circumstantial evidence, including sonograms on Maria's Photobucket account. Aside from the fact that the fetus is too developed to be the one she allegedly miscarried, the same image is easily found elsewhere using Google Image Search.
The Fake Maria Is The Crazy One
December 15, 2006: Someone posts anonymously to mskatej's LiveJournal, claiming to be a Chilean lurker named Carola. Carola explains that she followed Maria's "miscarriage" and became curious enough to visit her, whereupon she learned that the real Maria Jose Bianchi was in the hospital for attempted suicide, and the person operating the svmaria LJ account was her schizophrenic neighbor who believed she was Bianchi. (The boyfriend in the miscarriage story is here established to be the real Maria's former boyfriend Javier.) According to Carola the imposter is now in a psychiatric hospital and the real Maria has recovered and decided to create an account on that LiveJournal thing her crazy stalker used to steal her identity. Carola's IP address is quickly linked to Maria's, and her story is dismissed as an attempt to clear Maria (well, one of her) and Herohunter of any wrongdoing.
December 18, 2006: Maria undeletes her LiveJournal. In her first post back she feigns ignorance of the events of November 29-30, and expresses surprise that anyone accused Herohunter of concocting such a hoax (which is a neat trick since the accusations were against Maria herself, with Herohunter generally being regarded as a patsy). Note that her self-avowed friendship with Herohunter immediately invalidates Carola's entire "Herohunter was taken in by a crazy Maria imposter." Amid the fallout, aelora exposes Maria as having previously been alessandra84.
The Real Maria Is The...Other Crazy One
December 24, 2006: Maria posts a confession to her journal. She admits to having previously been alessandra84 and claims to suffer from bipolar disorder. She doesn't address the miscarriage incident except to say that Madelyn's investigation made her try to kill herself, which seems less like confessing and more like whining about being caught. She promises to keep a low profile on LJ but will still lurk, "because I love Clex too much."
Who Hasn't Got Access To Her Accounts?
February 9, 2007: svmaria's journal is renamed to althea-astre
February 10, 2007: Toadstoolsmiles (mod of LOL Meme, btw) is not amused by Maria's re-emergence and announces that she still has Maria's email password from a previous incident, which allows her to monitor Maria's sockpuppets firsthand and verify that it's always been the same person. She publicly identifies several accounts as socks.
February 13, 2007: The username maria_j_bianchi appears on LiveJournal, with the first post announcing that she is the really real Maria Jose Bianchi who hasn't used the svmaria account in two months, and that all posts to that account since then are the work of a hacker. This Maria claims that she has left LJ, with no intention of returning, and is only making this announcement to expose her doppleganger. Even so, she cannot resist the need to point out that she loves Clex.
February 18, 2007: althea-astre is deleted.
Superman To Chile: DROP DEAD
March 13, 2007: jackluvclex is created on LiveJournal. "Jack" refuses to disclose his real name because his trust in Smallville fandom was shattered by the Maria situation. But since he is also from Chile he begs the fandom not to pre-judge all Chilean Clex fans as Maria's sockpuppets. Jack assures everyone that he's male, almost 19, and may be gay. Twice. In the same entry. For some reason this doesn't do nearly as much to dispel suspicion that he's actually Maria as the fact that he can go two minutes without talking about Clex.
March 14, 2007: althea-astre is undeleted. She reverses on her decision to lurk and/or leave fandom because she (in case you haven't noticed) loves Clex. She claims that maria_j_bianchi was the creation of the fans tracking her IP addresses to expose her sockpuppets, and that althea-astre was deleted in response to this perceived threat. Javier is now downgraded from "current boyfriend during fake miscarriage" and "former boyfriend namedropped by fake psycho stalker" all the way down to "fake boyfriend." She denies any involvement with msjulialurker, and explains that Madelyn's baseless suspicion that msjulialurker was a sockpuppet spooked Maria into fearing that her sockpuppet boyfriend would be discovered, leading to a suicide attempt (presumably the same one Carola referred to).
March 15-16, 2007: jackluvclex and svkristin are both denied entry into sv_inquiry on the grounds of being from Chile, and they loudly protest that the fandom is prejudiced against all Chileans. New rules are implemented at the community specifically to weed out Maria's sockpuppets from actual people.
| “ | I'm disgusted by the fact that so many people in this fandom now need to be wary about new people, and that I have to check a freaking IP to see if I'm talking to someone from *Chile* because it IS ALWAYS YOU. THERE IS NOT A SUDDEN INFLUX OF FANS IN SMALLVILLE FANDOM FROM CHILE. I am, and always have been, one of the most welcoming people to new fen in this fandom, and I have been for four years. You quoting my correspondence to you out of context will never do anything to change that.
Give. It. Up. You rolled your entire fannish reputation on getting some DVDs, lipgloss and hair clips and *lost*. Go offline to your "clinic" for real this time, and stop driving Smallville fandom up the wall with your stupidity and your cracked behavior. | ” |
— svmadelyn
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Known (or alleged) SVMaria Sockpuppets
- svmaria/althea-astre (Technically the "real" account, except when a sock steals it from her)
- alessandra84 (Her first account, which she now claims was a façade)
- Javier (her imaginary boyfriend, only communicated with LJ via emails/chats with Herohunter)
- msjulialurker
- Carola (name given in an anonymous comment)
- simply_joe (Carola claimed this was the real Maria and svmaria was an imposter)
- monica_james
- real_svmaria
- maria_j_bianchi
- mariajosebianch
- mr_tete
- misstete
- markclexer
- clmelissa
- svjulian
- jackluvclex
- svkristin
- clexlives
- marita23
The Big Question
What the heck is it with Smallville and sockpuppets, anyway?
Links
- Archive of Herohunter's LJ from Autumn 2006 with seven pages of comments about the "accident"
- Maria's Christmas and/or Miscarriage Wish List!!
- SVMadelyn's case against Maria
- Sonogram of Maria's baby
- Sonogram on some French site
Wank Reports
Quotes
- "How do you solve a problem like svmaria?" (and other Sound of Music filks by squeakytoy et al) [1]
Categories: Smallville | Wanks | Sockpuppets | WTF
