Stargate

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An entire sci-fi franchise devoted to boldy going where no one has gone before. By which we mean Vancouver.

1 Film
2 Stargate: SG1
3 Stargate: Deep Space Nine
4 Notable Wanks

Film

Introduces the concept that Egyptian gods were actually aliens who left giant metal donuts all over the universe. Mmm... donuts...

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Stargate: SG1

By 1997 plans were underway to produce a can't-miss TV adaptation of a generally overlooked 1994 motion picture. But the rights to It's Pat were tied up so they had to make Stargate: SG1 instead. It's more appropriately referred to by its official title, Stargate: Stargate-1.

Stories predominantly revolve around a bunch of military personnel standing around in a basement with out any apparent access to sunlight--a task which is naturally overseen by the US Air Force. Occasionally they get bored and travel through the Fargate to visit exciting alien worlds, which all look the same and are all inhabited by human beings who have barely managed to invent the wheel. Major conflicts on the show usually involve pathetically fake-looking puppets named after Norse gods.

Main characters include:

Jack O'Neill, the idiot leader
Samantha Carter, the scientist who never shuts up
Daniel Jackson, the other scientist who also never shuts up
Teal'c, who is from outer space because he wears lip gloss and eyeliner

There's also General Bald Guy and the white people from some other show that got canceled.

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Stargate: Deep Space Nine

Rumors abound that a second Stargate show exists in which a unit of the Stargate Corps became stranded on the planet which inspired legends of the lost city of Atlantis. However, the only known evidence that such a show exists is repeated mutterings within a rogue fandom concerning the sexual activities of something called a "Shep". It remains possible that the show is merely a myth perpetuated by fandom, not unlike heterosexual intercourse and Supernatural.

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