The Console Wars
From Fandom wank wiki
The never-ending battle for supremecy in the field of video game consoles, the Console Wars are generally fought by the consoles' manufacturers, fanboys, and professional fanboys game journalists. For several years, they were fought in the pages of game magazines, but the advent of the internet has infinitely increased the battlefield.
The Console Wars have seen various battles over the years between several different companies. For this current generation of consoles, the main players are...
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PlayStation 3
The Sony PlayStation 3 is the definitive home console because it's cool, especially since the PS2 won the previous war, and the logo text on the PS3 is done with the Spider-Man font. One of the main features of the PS3 is its ability to read Blu-Ray disks, which are way better than HD-DVD ones. The PS3 will also have Final Fantasy and Metal Gear Solid on it.
The PS3 sucks because it's popular. It's also really expensive and hard to get ahold of, and paying thousands on eBay or getting shot is not many people's idea of a good time. Also, some series that came out first (or only) on the PS2 aren't going to be exclusive for the PS3, like Grand Theft Auto, because the game companies already know that Sony's gonna fail really badly.
XBox 360
Microsoft's XBox 360 is history-making because it's made for a mature, serious type of gamer. It also has XBox Live and Halo 3. There's also an add-on to play HD-DVD disks, which are way better than Blu-Ray ones.
The XBox 360 sucks because it's basically just an ugly-looking PC. All its games are PC games, too. It also sells really poorly in Japan, so you know it's gonna lose, no matter what, because Japanese sales are incredibly important when it comes to the Console Wars. Oh, and Micro$oft is inherently evil.
Nintendo Wii
Nintendo's Wii is the second coming because of its revolutionary new controller. It also had a ton of great games at launch and Virtual Console. And of course, there's Zelda, 'nuff said.
The Wii sucks because of its silly name. It also doesn't have graphics so good you can see the individual sweat beads on characters' faces, since the Wii is essentially a GameCube with a weird controller. Also, the Wii is for kids, since all Nintendo ever makes are kiddy games, and there are no third-party titles, ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to playing Katamari Damacy and Viva Pinata.
Notable Wanks
- Nintendo and Microsoft should team up against Sony
- Real Men don't like the Nintendo DS
- Wii pricing wank
- Resistance: Fall of Man vs. Gears of War
- Vladimir Cole vs. the Wii Fanboys, part XXVII
- PS3 kiosks freeze on purpose
- Capcom loves money more than PS3-owning Devil May Cry fans
- Since when did the PS3 need "saving"?!
- Square Enix loves money more than PS3-owning Final Fantasy fans

