The Very Secret Diary Of Aja

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TheExhibitionist found it. Then FW did as well.

Despite being friends-locked, Ivyblossom also found it, and took it as a serious death-threat from Aja, enough to cancel her trip to the Nimbus 2003 convention. (Or so she said.)

"a parody. suffice it to say that if anybody sees this apart from the *counts* six of you, my head will be on the block."

Day 130. Have met Cassandra Claire. Cassandra Claire fangirling IvyBlossom. Am not IvyBlossom. Woe.

Day 143. Talked to Cassandra Claire for nearly twenty minutes!! If only I were IvyBlossom, perhaps could get full half hour.

Day 156. Still not Ivy.

Day 165. This week's status: posted 26 H/D recs, 13 ficlets, 2 drabbles, 4 WIPs, 16 rants on H/D, 782 livejournal posts, and a fic update. Participated in 4 flame wars, obliquely in 12 more. I feel I am slacking off my fandom duties. Fear no one will take me as seriously as Ivy or Stacey.

Day 178. Scratch that about Stacey.

Day 212. Whee! Am fandom hermit! Go me. Have coy and mysterious, yet t00bily passionate air. Perhaps now will be more like Ivy.

Day 215. Drat, Ivy has new gimmick. Am day late/knut short again. Am in full possession of my sexuality, however. Feel this negates quite a bit of angst, as Ivy's appears to fluctuate daily.

Day 222. Ivy has acquired Draconian as well as Snitchfiction.net. Recent statistics indicate Ivy now owns 86% of fandom. Rumors of merger with Time-Warner greatly exaggerated.

Day 243: Wish could move to New York, seduce Cassie, and roleplay H/D in person. Would let her wear the leather pants.

Day 244. Nevermind, Ivy already in New York. Last seen wearing Cassie's leather corset. Curses.

Day 258. Not Ivy yet. Would perhaps settle for being Baron Nomaw except do not want to have to pay heavy property tax to Ivy.

Day 278. Would like to hit Ivy's gay on head repeatedly with blue vase. Scratch that, would just like to hit Ivy.

Day 306. Have just seen recent picture of Ivy. Sudden dessication of all desire to be Ivy. Rapture!

Day 333. Today Ivy unanimously chosen Miss Congeniality in the Miss Fandomverse pageant. Also won talent with her stirring and dramatic guitar rendition of Jenny's favorite Sarah McLachlahan song. When asked why she chose that song she declared it spoke to her of the perfect love of H/D, while being entirely inspired from within. In her preliminary interview she named her goals as promoting intership harmony and increasing the number of PG Harry Potter smutfics. Received standing ovation.

Oh well. Am still the prettiest.

Day 359: WHY CAN'T SHE JUST BE BI LIKE THE REST OF US!$#$#$@$$!!$

Day 396: Have been bitch-slapped by Ivy for lifting finger against Ivy's fic-by-proxy. Will go :(( to friends. Surely now they will see that I am a much better Ivy than Ivy. At last!

Day 397: Friends say Ivy is sensitive soul and I should have been more considerate. Am still not Ivy.

Day 430: Ivy's friends mean evil people. Have lost all desire to be Ivy. Also, fear if I were Ivy would also inherit her taste in music. Gods save me.

Day 435: Have defriended Ivy. Said was because I cannot take the pressure to be like Ivy, but really it is because I cannot take the gay. Ivy acting innocent and wounded.

Day 445: Oh, joy!!! At last!! Nimbus approaches!!! Cassie and I shall be together at last!!!

Day 450: Ivy coming to Nimbus. Cassie hopes I will grow to love her as she does. Also says she will kill me if I try anything. Have torn the wings off good luck angel and stuffed him in soggiest dumpster I could find.

Day 470: Have started packing for Nimbus. Am keeping kitchen knife in metal-detector-proof adamantine sunglasses kit for now, but am taking along criminal profile of Ivy just in case.

If am caught, am certain airport security will understand.