Twilight

From Fandom wank wiki

“	"Do I dazzle you?" "Frequently."	”
	— Edward and Bella, Twilight

It's a young adult book series with canon sparkly vampires! The fans are all batshit insane!

Some claim the fandom is the definite successor to Harry Potter fandom in terms of ultimate WTF, and while there have been many contenders, we think this one's got an edge over the rest.

The movie, currently in production, features the young dead hot guy from the Harry Potter movies, and looks to be an MST classic.

Contents 1 Wanks 2 Quotes 3 Extras 4 Icons!!!1

Wanks

• Fandom Wank tag [1] and memories category [2]
• Clairvoyantwank tag [3]
• Twilight fangirls scare Edward's actor [4]

• The Sparkledämmerung, aka The Potterdämmerung, Twilight-style!
  • Spoilers, shipping denial, carpet book photos, internet lawyers, and epilogue wank for the last fourth book. [5]
  • The aftermath of Breaking Dawn's release: "Don't Burn It, Return It!", the Twilight Moms' reactions, and much more [6]
  • Stop criticizing the book, you're hurting her feelings! [7]
  • Round 2, this time starring SMeyer's brother. We wish we were kidding. [8]
  • Round 3, with lots of random CAPSLOCK and even more batshit insanity. Midnight Sun is leaked. [9]
  • "How can you act like this? After reading that amaaaaaaazing book, not shit! not boring! not glorified fanfiction, A-MAAZING BOOK! I'ma say it real clear: A-MA-ZING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!"[10]
  • And the inevitable author measured response. [11]

Quotes

• "Wait, wait, wait. I lost the plot somewhere along the way. I have questions, should anyone be bored enough to answer:
  1. Should I (a) read these books because they're not that bad, or (b) read them because they're so terrible they're funny, (c) stay the hell away because they're that bad?
  2. The Twilight fandom is (a) a meta-exercise in building a fandom, so that it consists solely of fandom tropes and fabricated wank, or (b) real, wank included?" - tree[12]

• "It's like Anne Rice and J.K. Rowling got drunk and had a love child, then handed it over to Christopher Paolini to raise." - issendai[13]

• sionja: "It's pointless, to create a girl with a strong loathing for social events and then make her stomach not just a big wedding run by Alice, but a girly one at that. This I think is self insertion on Meyer's part.
  Oh hey, look, they're finally catching on."

huehau: "I think there's an interview where Meyer says that she feels her personality is closer to Edward's so she managed to insert herself twice into the books."

iwanttobeasleep: "Well, that brings masturbatory fiction to a new level." - [14]

• "Yeah, it's like, Bella wants to be a vampire but she doesn't want to be a vampire before she's had sex as a human, and Edward doesn't want her to be a vampire but he wants to get married, but Bella doesn't want to get married unless she can be a vampire, but Edward won't have sex with her until they get married, and then you put the fox and the grain in the boat and you leave the goose back on the riverbank." - cleolinda[15]

• "Reader, I hurled." - Elizabeth Hand, author and book reviewer for the Washington Post [16]

Extras

• Sparkle text generator for all your Twilight needs [17]
• ontd_twilight and ontd_twatlight: Spinoffs/expatriate communities of Ohnotheydidnt -- beware, ridiculous amounts of sparkles and wank.
• Twilight fangirl bingo [18][19]
• Best webcomic ever [20] (also at Shinga's deviantART)
• Twilight: The Catalog (of Suck) [21]

• FW's favorite summaries/parodies:
  • Shinga's
  • Cleolinda's
  • "Growing Up Cullen"

Icons!!!1

• At the twilight_sucks comm, from the Entertainment Weekly cover[22]
• Everything I know about Twilight I learned from Fandom_Wank[23][24]
• OM NOM NOM[25][26]
• YOU JUST THINK TOO MUCH JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ! (and other select Angry Twilight Fan Quotes) [27]
• Stalking: a healthy road to my soulmate! [28]