WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WANTED TO BE EATEN!

From Fandom wank wiki

by unamaga

May 7, 2008: Starblade has a lot of challenges to overcome. First, his sometime crush/sometime stalking victim, Palshife, controls the internet. Second, people simply don't appreciate his status as a coconut-flavored female dragon otherkin. Last, but certainly not least, nobody wants to eat him.

It's making him so miserable he's going to have to leave the internet forever. Any day now.

His series of rants is largely incomprehensible, but highly quotable.

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On Fandom_Wank

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Quotes

"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WANTED TO BE EATEN!" - Starblade, rant #1
"FUCK, I WANT TO FUCKING RAGE... CAPSLOCK CRUSADER STYLE!!!!" - ibid
"Because I've DONE what I could to be tasty." - ibid
"I. Fucking. Hate. The. World. I want to kill myself, not because the world's too good for me, but because I'm too good for the world." - ibid
"It's time I stopped blaming myself. It's time I stopped caring what people think of me. It's time I rage against machine. It's time to be fierce." - ibid
"You don't understand how deeply metaphorical I am." - Starblade, rant #2
"I may taste like coconuts but I'm no coconut myself." - ibid
"I've decided to make the attempt at leaving for good coincide with my going into rehab for the stalker thing." - Starblade, rant #3

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Wanka Quotes

"I have a crazy mental image of a dude in a girly dragon suit sobbing as he covers himself with glopped-on peanut butter and blubbers the chorus of, 'Take On Me.'
'Taaaake Meeeee Ooonblahguhguhglubghaaaa...'
This is the awesomest thing my brain has ever produced." - shaysdays [1]
"If there's anything I've learned from this wank, love is vore and being willing to typevore someone.
This makes Jesus is the most loved person ever." - tehrin [2]
"Now I have a vision of this guy screaming on the rooftops, 'WHY WON'T SOMEONE EAT ME?'
And someone below thinking they understand. But they don't, and never will." - wickedlester [3]