You Want To Write Buttsex? Go stick something up your bum!

From Fandom wank wiki

Jan 12, 2005: Atalantapendrag announced a new criteria for writing anal penetration in slash fics. On fanficrants of course.

“	What is the deal with people (well, women, I doubt any male slash writers are guilty of this) not doing a little hands-on research? I'm not going to go onto the whole "can we have something in the sex scenes besides teh obligatory buttsecks" tangent here; my point is, if you're going to write anal penetration, get some experience with it. No, really. I mean it. You don't have to be a guy to put stuff in your ass, honest. Or even to enjoy it.	”
	— {{{source}}}

Most of the respondents freaked out, but a large section of commenters on the original post and the Fandom Wank entry proceeded to relate their own TMI stories. Quotes below are reproduced to spread the pain around to today's readers.

• Wank Report

Quotes

• "Anyone who flames me for this? Can stick it up their ass." - atalantapendrag [1]

• "Ah, but how do you know people aren’t experimenting? They may just be sucky writers. It’s not the kind of thing people really shout about. Y’know, “Dear LJ, today I slicked up a fountain pen with Vaseline and shoved it up my asshole. Kind of made me want to poo, but, hey, check out all the slash I’ve written!”" - smirnoffmule [2]

• "Well, I salute her dedication to her craft." - kadath [3]

• "Because porn written by actual gay men is well regarded for its anatomical and experiential verisimilitude." - Phosfate [4]

• "I think its pretty funny that some of the objectors are so concerned about not violating their own arses while eager to write about it.
  She never said you MUST play with your butt to write better buttsex0rz, just suggested that it might be considered an option not outside the realm of possibility. " - mortifyd [5]

• "It's the butt hymens that really, really get to me.
  Losing the vaginal virginity, okay, that fucking hurt, and I couldn't sit straight for two days.
  Buttsex? Nothing of the sort. And if there is, there's a problem!" - Ataniell [6]

• "Yep, because getting reamed means you'll automatically develop the spelling, grammar and descriptive skills necessary to make you a good writer. Hell, before I took it up the ass the first time, I uzed to spelll liek dis." - an anonymouse [7]

• "Well, if buttsex helps you be anal about grammar and spelling, then presumably oral will make you write perfect dialogue.
  Which makes cock the creative urge, and the Hive Vagina gives it social dialogue.
  At this point I might be pushing the analogies a bit, but, meh." - the_gentleman [8]

• "Now, for those of you who write cutting fics..." - Ashenmote [9]